Let Her Cry

We've been going through a rough patch with Piper's sleeping. She'll sleep for a good six hour stretch most of the time- once we finally get her down. The tough part is getting her to fall asleep...And stay asleep. It takes at least five minutes of bouncing, patting, shushing, and singing to get her to finally wind down and give in to sleep. that's not so bad, but on particularly rough nights, the soothing can stretch out to fifteen minutes or more. Even still, that's not the toughest part. What's so frustrating is that we'll finally get her to sleep, and lay her down ohhhhhhh so gently and she's back awake, screaming her little face off. We know there's nothing wrong- she's been fed, changed, burped, cuddled. She just doesn't like to lay down, doest like to be by herself, and doesn't like to fall asleep on her own. I can't say that I totally blame her- I mean I'd like Dustin to rub my back every night as I fall asleep, but that's just not going to happen. I don't want to tough love her too early, but at the same time we can't continue to rock her to sleep four times each night before it finally "sticks". Especially with me going back to work soon, we need to get a better routine, and Piper needs to learn that bedtime means sleeping, not endless rounds of rocking.

So tonight we tried letting her cry it out. I was slightly hesitant...I worry that it's scaring her- or scarring her. I fear she'll feel I abandoned her, and she'll think we don't love her. But on the other hand I know that we spoil her with kisses, love and attention all day. Not responding to every little whimper won't ruin her. Hopefully allowing her to work things out on her own will actually have the opposite effect, and teach her to be independent and secure.

And so we gave it a shot. Dustin was out with a friend, so was on my own for the first round of bedtime. I got her all ready, fed her, burped her and rocked her to sleep. At 9:40 I laid her down in the crib, and predictably, after a few quiet minutes (her normal tease) she started to cry. I patted her, told her I loved her, and let her be. I planned to check on her every few minutes, gradually increasing the time she was left alone until she finally drifted off on her own. I checked the clock and went about my business, tidying up and getting ready for bed. I lasted a few rounds, but at 10:10 I broke. When I went in that time, she was no longer doing her angry wail. I can tolerate that one. When she's being stubborn or overtired and fussy, I usually don't gave a problem letting her work it out a bit. But this time she was sobbing her sad cry. The one where you can practically hear her heart utter "mama hold me! I need you!" I started to worry that I made a mistake. Her last couple diapers had only been wet, and I feared that she had pooped and I I was a terrible mother that was letting her sit in it. So I gave in and picked her up to change her. She hadn't pooped...instead I'd been duped. I refastened her swaddle and started the process over again, rocking her to sleep, only to have her freak out once I put het down.

By now Dustin was home, so he took over the next round. And somehoe, after only 15 minutes (broken up into small chunks) she managed to fall asleep on her own, barely a minute before we were going to check on her again.

We were tired, but proud. No one likes listening to their baby cry, but it was reassuring that the method worked. Piper could fall asleep- in her crib no less!- if we were patient enough.

But out job was not finished we had a repeat performance after her middle of the night feed at 3:45. Thus time the process ended with one last pat at 4:20. Not great, but not bad. She woke up happy as a clam at 7:30...all smiles, and seemingly well rested.

I was encouraged by the progress we made, but I knew better than to think we had it figured out. and sure enough, after a perfect morning nap, it all went to pot again the next afternoon. After spending an hour waiting for her to sleep, we finally threw in the towel. We skipped that nap, fed her and hoped we'd all do better the next time. If not...we might all just have to cry it out.